September302014
edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

(via everything-fuckable)

2AM
bettybonesco:

always been one of my fave lyrics

bettybonesco:

always been one of my fave lyrics

(Source: gloriousroyalty, via marleykinz)

2AM

human:

petition to have That’s So Raven added to Netflix 

(via ohheyitsdaniel)

2AM

yeahnodudehella:

Sanjai, a 20-years old bull (male elephant), sees himself for the first time in front of a mirror. [x]

"The Mirror Stage as Formative to the Function of the Big-Ass Elephant".

(Source: memoriesofelephants, via lady-chub)

2AM

(Source: stonerthings, via seethruskinx)

2AM
“Everyone’s fucked up. You’ve just gotta decide what kinda fucked up you’re into.” (via deadlyvibes)

(Source: kushandwizdom, via bullied)

2AM

enchanting-ravenclaw:

enchanting-ravenclaw:

enchanting-ravenclaw:

a kid from my high is fucking trending on facebook because of a stupid petition to get a senior photo of him holding a cat into the yearbook…

image

(x)

UPDATE!!

My principal decided to join him in a photo.

The new photograph will go in the yearbook as a way to raise awareness for American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and rescue animals like Mr. Bugglesworth and Vivienne.

image

(via everything-fuckable)

2AM
organmeat:

This describes my entire texting relationship with everyone

organmeat:

This describes my entire texting relationship with everyone

(via lady-chub)

12AM
theslendeyman:

broken-bones-and-golden-thrones:

dildosoup:

Someone please explain this

No one explain it

Took me a second

theslendeyman:

broken-bones-and-golden-thrones:

dildosoup:

Someone please explain this

No one explain it

Took me a second

(Source: spicy-vagina-tacos, via coffee--teeth)

12AM
12AM

funnyskullgrin:

New stickers in the shop

(via coffee--teeth)

12AM
My shake and my babe 😊💕😘 (at Steak ‘n Shake)

My shake and my babe 😊💕😘 (at Steak ‘n Shake)

September292014
11PM

monkeysaysficus:

This is rude

(Source: maleficent-z, via thenotoriousmeg)

11PM
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